To every man who contributes to the lives and development of children –
whether his own, or born to others,
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY
Your influence matters.
You make a difference in who we turn out to be.
Being constantly bruised, scraped, sore, dirty, and exhausted begins to lose its appeal.
Not being able to locate anything when I need it isn’t as much fun anymore either.
Did I really do this voluntarily?!?! I must be even crazier than I realised.
Okay, no. The location was optional:
but actually moving was not.
And, for the most part, this move has been less horrible than previous moves. (Of course, since my last two moves surrounded a major health and life crisis, it might be hard to top those for basic suckiness.)
Anyway, lessons from this
For me, when at all possible, using something like U-BOXES is the way to move. The stress of having to get so much done in a short time when moving myself by truck just isn’t a good match for my health. And piloting a truck as big as a house along narrow, twisty roads, ups that stress enormously!
Professional moving costs a FORTUNE, which I don’t have, and curiously, for me it is equally stressful! With the exception of the narrow, twisty roads, of course. I still feel that time pressure, and I just don’t like having a bunch of strangers man-handling my stuff.
Because I’m a on strict budget right now, I had to do a lot of math for this move, but really, the U-Boxes are near enough in cost to the truck, with far less stress.
This will be surprising for absolutely no one, but moving, a job search, trying to build a business, and an autoimmune disorder, are not a recipe for efficiency.
So right now I’m learning to just put one foot in front of the other. To say “You know you just can’t do that really well right now, so look for what you can do, and just do it.” It’s been good.
Now, there are definitely times where even putting one foot in front of the other can’t go on. I respect that.
And I’m once again learning that I need to anticipate those moments when I simply can’t keep at it, and I have to rest. Doesn’t matter what ‘should’ be, I have to live what IS.
Last Monday I spent nearly 100% of my very precious ‘moving’ time (yes, right now my waking hours are very carefully allotted) putting up shelves and setting books on them. This seemed like the most ridiculous waste of time.
There are five U-Boxes to be unloaded!
There are 1,000 things to do! All important!
I HAVE NO BED, for goodness sake!!
But I kept at it. And you know what, when the shelves were up, and the books were on them, I was able to clear a huge space in my basement so that the next day my ‘moving’ hours were vastly more efficient. I got two U-Boxes unloaded, except for the appliances!
Later that week, I spent my moving time organising the kitchen.
Definitely not the most critical or time-sensitive task on my list! And I admit I mainly did it because I was staggering with fatigue and carrying heavy boxes up stairs no longer seemed wise.
But when it was done, my paths were more clear, so subsequent moving went faster, and I could find things that I needed, so making meals became a lot more practical!
Not always, which is the overthinker’s living nightmare.
One of my greatest fears is being one of those ‘the grass is always greener’ folks. Blech! I don’t want to be discontented and unwilling to shape my life. I don’t want to be a whiner, or, worse yet, always chasing something new because I’m unwilling to do the hard work of changing me.
So, I’ve had many moments of
Because I do believe that we forge a great deal of our own contentment through our attitudes. I know from experience that almost anything can be made MORE tolerable with the right attitude.
But MORE tolerable is not the same as appropriate. It isn’t thriving.
I truly tried to be as content as I could in California’s sun, and heat – which many people love. And traffic, and pace. And cost of living. And noise.
And I had a pretty good life there.
But here I don’t have to work extremely hard every day to be ‘pretty much okay’. I don’t consider ‘Actually, it wasn’t that bad!’ to be the description of a really good day.
I AM healthier here. Even though I’m tired, even though I can’t wait for this moving and settling to be over. Even though my house is in chaos, and I don’t know what the future holds.
Even when I am sick, as odd as that may sound. Because, so far, here I am just sick. Not sick + struggling to survive the day. Sick + more and more mental. Sick + I can’t really remember what peace feels like.
Every once in awhile, I even toy with the idea that maybe I COULD THRIVE again someday.
So, I’m not sure how you know when a change is a true need, rather than something you just need to address in yourself.
I just know that sometimes change is a real need, and making the change makes a clear difference. And it’s good.
I hope everyone is well today!
I try to keep this blog as unisex as possible. I want anyone who happens by to feel welcome here. But this week I ran into a Halestorm song that I had never heard, and thought,
I was blessed to have this message be part of my early life, but I know that not everyone was; and I know that even I can forget.
So, welcome to our first ever Chick Flick Monday.
These are words
That every girl should have a chance to hear
There will be love
There will be pain
There will be hope
There will be fear
And through it all year after year
Stand or fall I will be right here
I was just like you
And just like me
You’re gonna make it through
And if you are a guy, just feel perfectly free to adapt that message to your gender! If I find a dude version of this sentiment I’ll definitely post that too.