Happy Labor Day


Happy Monday!!

If you are in the United States, Happy Labor Day!!! (It takes some concentration, but I’m even trying to spell ‘Labor’ the American way.)

Most of my life the ‘smaller’ holidays, like Labor Day, haven’t meant that much to me. I cherished the ‘day off’, appreciated the history, but they didn’t have the rich detail of Thanksgiving or Christmas.

Labor Day, if anything, I associated with annoying sales ads – a rather profound irony. But it’s becoming so much more real to me as I get older, and as I understand the world better.

Labor day, more than any other American holiday, celebrates efforts by the people, for the people.

Goodness knows the American workers who –  in MANY cases risking their lives – made America great, did not do so for the glory of amazing discounts on TVs or washing machines. They fought to free themselves, their families, their fellow Americans from a tyranny of corporation plus government whose concentrated power had made it impossible for the 99% to realise the American Dream.

Sure, in the past several decades we have lost a lot of the ground that was gained by those whose fight Labor Day commemorates. But that need not be our end game: what Americans managed once, we can certainly do again.

So, I’m going to spend a little of this much prized ‘day off’ better understanding the people, and the work they did, that made America great, and appreciating their sacrifices.


Be well.



On Being Sick

I realised this week that I have been in chronic pain for nearly as long as I had been alive before the chronic pain arrived!

That was momentarily sobering.

I was 24 years old when I woke one August morning with little bracelets of pain around each of my wrists, looping up my pinkie fingers.

Being 24, this was hardly a blip on my radar – must have held my book oddly reading in bed the night before. When it didn’t go away I wondered if I did something strange in my workout.

Then it didn’t go away for a long time.  And it started to spread.

THAT made it to my radar!

Eventually I broke down and went to the doctor.  Then more doctors.  After enough quality time with doctors for a lifetime, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA).

That was 21 years ago. 

When I first got sick, the pain was terrible. Beyond-my-previous-capacity-for-imagining-pain terrible.

RA is an autoimmune disease. That means you get sick because your body attacks its own cells. With RA, it’s your joints that the body decides to war against, so your joints swell, and hurt, and sometimes get deformed. They may even degrade away. (This isn’t jolly news when you are 24.)

Sometimes they just decide not to work and you drop things or face-plant, or other amusing party tricks. (For YEARS after I got sick I stopped holding babies unless I was sitting on a couch or arm chair. The thought of just dropping a small baby with no warning at all terrified me.  And was incredibly easy to imagine by that point. )

RA also has non-joint effects too, like astounding fatigue.

They tell you when you get RA that you’ll experience ‘morning stiffness’. This is an understatement of such magnitude as to be a sick joke.

There are 30 joints in each of your feet, did you know that? I didn’t, until the ‘morning stiffness’. Now I’m intimately familiar with Every. Single. One. of those joints.

I used to set my alarm for two and a half hours before I really needed to be up. Not so I could read the Wall Street Journal over breakfast, mind you, or perfect my hair and make-up, but because the pain could be so bad I didn’t how long it would take from the time I woke up to the time I could walk well enough to get ready for work.

But here’s the thing: I don’t live like that anymore.  

After about three years I began to improve. The excruciating pain very slowly mellowed to tolerable. Then eventually even to mild pain most of the time. Fewer joints were affected. If you can imagine, the deformed joints even straightened! The crushing fatigue became mostly manageable.

Now I can usually walk the moment I wake up!

Part of this is a remission: the RA stopped eating up my body. I don’t know why it stopped, yet didn’t leave completely. I don’t know why I was healed, but not entirely.

So, my life has changed a great deal since the first few years of being sick. Chronic mild and periodic moderate pain beat chronic horrific pain ANY DAY.

And now there are FAR more options for treating chronic pain. Back when I got sick, a progression of drugs with increasingly horrible side effects, and maybe periodic joint replacement surgeries were the future awaiting me.

Research paid lip service to exercise for RA, but I actually had one doc say ‘Well, don’t worry too much about exercise, after a while you won’t really be able to move much anyway.”

To a 24 year old girl! 

But now there are all manner of mind-body options for reducing and managing chronic pain. Now I know what foods, routines, and choices help me minimise the pain. I know how to work out enough to manage the pain, without making it worse (usually). Now I even see blessings in what chronic pain has taught me over many years.

Even in this current, very stressful season I (so far!) remain healthier than I used to be on my very best days. It’s not great, but it IS good.

When I realised that I had been in chronic pain for 21 years, I thought “Might it actually be possible to leave chronic pain BEHIND before I get to 24 years of having it?”

Could my life improve even MORE than it has so far?

Sure, it’s a long shot, but why not try?

So, my new goal for the end of August three years from now, is to be living without chronic pain


Monday Encouragement: Move Forward


Happy Monday!!


How are you?!? As this Monday rolls around I’m on a very short, but MUCH NEEDED spot of holiday, so I’m remarkably well for a Monday!

I mentioned a while ago a splendid little book by Brene Brown called The Gifts of Imperfection.

In it I found the most delightful quote, by artist Terri St. Cloud:

“She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful.” 

What a splendid perspective!!

I don’t have a lot of regrets, and they don’t plague me all the time thank God, but neither am I completely lacking in them.

And I have my moments of heartbreak over some of the messy ‘details’ that I can never replace with better decisions …  different choices… kinder words… more positive outcomes.

What a fabulous reminder this quote is that the whole is something far beyond its parts! A stained glass window is certainly a far cry from the shards that form it.

If I, you, any of us, continue to move forward, the whole can be a tapestry of true beauty, even with the occasional worn, bent, or even shattered part woven into it.

Sounds good to ME! 


Be well. 


More of Terri St. Cloud’s work and intriguing thoughts can be found at http://www.bonesigharts.com