Monday Encouragement … say no


My favourite encouragement this week was one of TobyMac’s delightful SpeakLife posts:

You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no. 

If you are anything like me, this is completely obvious, but I’ve learned there are many, many, MANY people who are NOT like me! And they run themselves ragged trying to be good, kind hearted people without ever benefitting from the invaluable blessing of NO.

In my case, NO is the only hope I have of being good or kind with any regularity.

Chronic exhaustion and overwhelm lead, inevitably, to resentment and eventually to breakdown. Healthy boundaries, on the other hand, allow for recharge, regeneration, of all the things that keep us healthy, stable, and loving.

NO is the single most important key I’ve found to healthy boundaries. Therefore NO is a thing of beauty in my eyes.

I may not always love it when your NO happens to compete with my whim, but you know what? I’d rather have your heartfelt NO than either your slow building resentment, or a false YES that is going to leave me in the lurch later on.

I’d also rather have your heartfelt NO protecting your soul from too much wear. From spending yourself on trivia rather than investing yourself in what matters most.

And I while I tend to value the fact that NO protects the giver from too much responsibility, it also protects the receiver from too little responsibility. Both protections are gifts. Both are necessary.

NO is the only way to ensure there will be time, energy, money, sanity enough left over to embrace the important YES around the next corner.



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