In March, 2014, I sold my house, packed up my life, said goodbye to a beloved community, and followed a long sought dream.
And that went very, very, badly.
I’ve failed at many things in the course of my life, but none so spectacularly as that.
I had worked hard to prepare well, but had clearly missed some key ingredients in the happily-ever-after mix. In the end, I ditched the dream and ran for cover, and have spent the last year-plus trying to just get recovered enough to move forward with any semblance of hope.
Finally, in the last few months, I have begun to inch very slowly forward. SLOWLY being the operative word here.
Because anything but SLOWLY was far beyond my capacity.
So SLOWLY I’ve been getting up the courage to face the prospect of another long-haul move, without simply dropping dead from negatively and cowardice.
And after SLOWLY getting enough of a grip back to start looking forward again, I SLOWLY planned a trip for this coming August to visit several areas in Washington state to see if they are viable options for living a frugal, abundant life, rather than fodder for another ghastly Lifewreck.
SLOWLY I’ve been doing research, SLOWLY deciding the best place to stay on my exploration trip …
And SLOWLY I’ve been preparing my skittish mind and tattered stomach for that adventure. VERY slowly.
SLOWLY trying to do every. little. thing. possible. to ensure absolutely, positively that this holiday will be peaceful, productive, and panic free.
Then my landlords phoned to inform me that they need to sell my house.
Now, this was by no means a 30-day eviction notice; they were very kindly giving me the earliest heads up they could on a process that usually takes a while.
But it put a decided crimp in my SLOWLY!
Since my house could conceivably be in escrow by mid-August, starting my research in mid-August became somewhat less practical.
I really don’t want to move to someplace else here, THEN go do research for a possible move out of here, and THEN have to move all over again. I did two moves in 6 months as a result of the Lifewreck, and that was enough to last me. So, by the time this posts, I’ll be half way to my home-away-from-home for the next few weeks in Washington.
Being ‘almost’ ready for the next adventure, though, instead of fully prepared, is a very scary place from which to leap.
That is part of what went wrong in the Lifewreck, and while there are many skills I’ve not mastered, I’ve got ‘once bitten twice shy’ perfected.
I have friends who love the excitement of a move. NOT ME!
My dream is to buy a quiet, peaceful little house that suits me and stay there until I die. I get plenty of adventure just living life, I’ve never felt the need to artificially inject more.
And I HATE moving.
If you multiply that by about 10,000 and add fire, brimstone, and gnashing of teeth, you get my attitude toward long haul moves.
However, after a tiny, well ordered panic, I determined that I must try to see this little wrench tossed into my SLOW, as an opportunity, not a calamity.
And, when better to experiment than when you’ve relatively little choice?
So, I reluctantly embrace this ‘exciting new opportunity’ to learn now, a bit earlier than I had hoped, the final things I need to learn about Washington as an option.
Who knows, maybe by the time my vacation rolls around I’ll already know all I need to know?
Maybe that will mean that Washington is off the table. But even that is helpful information. ANY variable eliminated will surely help.
And maybe it will mean that Washington is completely possible and why did I wait so long??
With enough miracles I might even be MOVED by my holiday, and get to enjoy it rather than spending it trying to learn make-it-or-break-it data!
That would be a blessing of incalculable value.
But regardless of the outcome, I am trying to be more positive than comes naturally, and be grateful for this opportunity.
So, want to come on an adventure with me?!?
My writing time is likely to be more limited during these next few weeks, both with the turmoil, and with having to make this time really count, so I don’t know what this will look like in terms of any sort of sensible posts.
But as best I can I’ll try to share some of this … adventure… in the most positive ways I’m able.